The Sight of Love
by Rapunzel2
Summary: }{Chapters 6-9 now posted}{ A blind young woman shows Erik the true sight of love. (Written by my friend who is blind and unable to post on her own...tell me what you think about her work! :o) Thanks!
1. Chapter 1

I held onto the railing as the ship coursed through the Atlantic Ocean. "What do you see now Uncle John?" "There's land far in the distance," he said, "We'll be in Paris before dark." My heart leapt with excitement. Paris! I was really almost there! "Are you sure you don't want to come in Carolyn dear? It's quite cold. You might get sick." "I'll be fine," I said smiling. Dear Aunt Kathryn. She was so kind, yet sometimes, so overprotective. Yes, I was blind, but certainly not the fragile child she sometimes treated me as. Extending my cane, I began to walk around the deck, savoring the feeling of the cold air on my face. I squinted against the bright sun.  
  
An hour or so later, we docked in France. The feeling of land under my feet after half a month at sea was strange. "I feel sort of dizzy," I said. "Oh, you just need to get your land legs back," Uncle John said, putting a hand on my shoulder to support me. We walked for a while, and then boarded a carriage for Paris.  
  
The journey seemed endless. I wanted so badly to get there! After what seemed like days, the carriage stopped. We gathered our bags, and headed for a hotel. I tried my best to use my cane along the sidewalks, letting Uncle John and Aunt Kathryn help me across the unfamiliar streets. I heard more than one amazed onlooker exclaim in a low voice, "That girl is blind, and she's walking around like she knows where she's going!" I smiled to myself. I had to expect that from some people. Some thought that because of my disability, I couldn't live as full a life as anyone else. I never considered myself disabled. I just had to do things differently.  
  
After we'd been walking for a while, Uncle John said, "Carolyn, we're at the Opera house. It's beautiful, with elaborate designs and marble statues. Wait, stop for a minute. Let me see what this sign says...They're holding auditions for chorus members through tomorrow evening." I knew in an instant that I wanted to audition although I didn't ask then. I wanted to wait until we were settled in.  
  
We checked into the hotel and were shown to our adjoining rooms. After unpacking and washing up, we went to dinner at one of the cafes that lined the streets. I had never tasted such wonderful food in my life. The wine was also excellent. It was late by the time we went back to the hotel, and we were all very tired. "I want to audition at the Opera tomorrow," I said as we arrived at our rooms, "I know I have a chance of getting in." "Yes," Aunt Kathryn said, "but dear, there are complications. Surely you realize that." "What complications?" I asked, "I've been studying voice for five years, and had some talent before I even began formal training."  
  
"For one thing, we don't live in France. If you got in, you would have to move here. I realize you're very independent, but Carolyn, we couldn't just leave you here."  
  
"Why not? I'm 18, and perfectly capable of living on my own."  
  
"Yes, but how would you learn your way around this huge city?"  
  
"The same way I learned my way around San Francisco."  
  
"But here you won't have an instructor from the Blind School to show you."  
  
"I'll help her," Uncle john said, "I think it would be wonderful for her." "I don't know," Aunt Kathryn, said, "I'd be so worried." "I know," I said, "but you'll worry about me no matter where I live. So please, give me this opportunity."  
  
"Well,...all right, we'll go tomorrow."  
  
"Thank you!" I said hugging them both.  
  
I awoke the next morning, feeling slightly nervous, but very excited. After warming up my voice, we headed for the opera house. "I think it would look better if you go in on your own," Uncle John said, "good luck Carolyn." "Don't be nervous," Aunt Kathryn said, "you can do this." I walked through the door, and headed towards the voices that I heard. "May I help you?" A man asked. "Yes please," I said in fluent French, "I am here to audition." I sensed the hesitation in his voice. "All...right. If you'll take my arm, I'll leas you to the auditorium." Once there, I sat in a seat, and waited for my turn. My nervousness grew as I heard other people auditioning. I had never heard such glorious voices before! Was I really as good as any of them? I prayed feverishly, asking God to grant me the strength to use my gift, and not faint. "It's your turn now," the man who had led me in said. I got up, and was led onstage. "What is your name?" He asked. "Carolyn Ingraham." "Age?" "Eighteen." "Experience?" "I've sung in church, state and national choirs." "Any solo experience?" "Yes. I've sung many arias and classical religious pieces." "You realize," he said, "that performing in an opera would be an enormous challenge." "I know," I said, "but I am up for the challenge." "Well, in that case, what will you be singing?" "Bell song," I replied, holding out my music. He took it. My heart was pounding, and I was shaking violently. I concentrated on standing up straight, and tried to relax. The accompanist began to play. I took a deep breath, and began to sing. My voice filled the room. After awhile, I relaxed fully, and sang with all my heart. There was a long and loud chorus of applause when I finished. "That was very well done," the man said. After that, he had me walk around the stage without my cane. I tried to keep my movements from looking jerky and unnatural. "Well done," he said, "there will be a list on the door tomorrow." I was shown out by a man named Richard. As we walked through a long corridor, I had the odd sensation that someone was following us. "How did it go?" Aunt Kathryn asked when I got outside. "I think it went very well," I replied. We spent the rest of the day walking around Paris. My Aunt and Uncle described all of the magnificent sites to me in great detail. That night, I dreamed of performing at the Opera. 


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Uncle John took me back to the Opera. "Your name is on the list!" He said, sounding mildly surprised. I couldn't believe it! I knew I'd auditioned well, but I never thought they'd even consider me, let alone hire me. "Rehearsals start tomorrow for Faust," Uncle John said. Faust was my favorite opera, and now, I was being given the chance to perform in it! Aunt Kathryn was very happy for me when she found out, but still very concerned. "I can't help but worry about you Carolyn," she said.  
  
"I know, but you really shouldn't. I can cook and clean and take care of myself. As for traveling, you know I pick up routes quickly."  
  
"And I know you won't have trouble communicating with others," she said, "you speak French better than I do, and I've been studying it for years. I know I shouldn't worry dear, but I can't help it. You're like my daughter." "I understand," I said, "and I love you both very much. But I have to start living my own life."  
  
"I know, and I won't stop you. We'll have to find you a place to live soon."  
  
*****************************************************  
  
I made a new friend the first day of rehearsal. I was sitting in the lobby during a break, when I heard someone walking towards me. "Hello," a voice said, "my name is Christine Daae." "Hello," I said smiling, "my name is Carolyn Ingraham." Christine sat down beside me. "I noticed you during rehearsal today. How do you do it?" She asked. "Do what?" I replied. "Well, how do you move around on stage?" she said. "Oh...It takes a lot of hard work," I replied. "You just amaze me. Not that I thought for a minute that you were incapable, but...you understand."   
  
"Yes," I said smiling, "I do."  
  
We talked on about France, singing, and anything else that came into our heads. "Where are you staying?" Christine asked after rehearsal. "Le hotel Blanc," I said, "but I'll only be there for a few weeks. I need to find another place to stay soon." "You could stay here," she suggested, "in one of the dressing rooms. It would be the easiest thing to do. Any business you might need to get to is within walking distance."  
  
I talked the idea over with my Aunt and Uncle that night. "Wouldn't you like to live somewhere a little more spacious than a dressing room?" Uncle John asked. " Eventually," I said, "but for now, I think it would be perfect."  
  
I moved into my room before they went back to America. They wanted to see me 'safely settled in' before departing. I loved them both, but I was glad when they finally left. Now, I could really begin to live.  
  
I spent my first few weeks of freedom getting oriented to my new surroundings. Within a short time, I could travel anywhere I needed to go independently. My Aunt and Uncle wrote of their original concern, and of their relief that I was doing so well.   
  
Christine was an immense help to me during my adjustment period. We quickly grew to share a sisterly bond, because of our similar personalities and interests. I told her of the sense of emptiness I sometimes felt having never known my parents, and of the gratitude I felt towards my Aunt and Uncle for caring for me so lovingly. She told me of the close relationship she had shared with her late father. "He promised me that he would send me the angel of music to guide me," she told me one day as we waited for her sweetheart, Raoul, "and he has Carolyn. My instructor is the Angel of Music." "Is he a real angel?" I asked. "No," she said a bit wistfully, "he's actually a very mysterious man, but I am sure that Father sent him to teach me."  
  
  
  
"Where do you study with him?"  
  
  
  
"He teaches me from behind my mirror. I know it sounds insane, but it's true. He knows every passage in this building. I have a sneaking suspicion that he is the infamous Opera Ghost."  
  
  
  
"Opera Ghost?' I asked. "You mean Meg's never told you?" Christine asked. "She goes on so about him. I thought you knew the whole story by now."  
  
  
  
"No, I don't know any of it." I said, "Please tell me."  
  
  
  
"He lurks around in the shadows, only allowing people to catch a fleeting glimpse of him. He writes demanding notes to the management," she said. "What kinds of things of things does he demand?" I asked. "The reservation of Box Five for his exclusive use, twenty thousand Francs a month from the management, and anything else he desires." I felt a strange thrill of fear and excitement as Christine told her tale.  
  
  
  
"What's he like?" I asked.   
  
  
  
"He's very kind most of the time, but when he's angry, it's frightening at times."  
  
  
  
"What's his name?"  
  
  
  
"His name is Erik," she replied. "I'd like to meet this Erik," I said. "You can tonight," Christine said. "What does he look like?" I asked. "He's very tall and handsome, but he wears a mask over the right side of his face," Christine said, "and he won't tell me why." I was growing more curious about this man every minute.  
  
  
  
Later that evening, I knocked on Christine's door. She was singing scales. "Come in Carolyn," she said. After finding a chair, I asked, "Is he here yet?" "No, he should be here soon," she replied. A few minutes later, a voice said, "Hello Christine and Carolyn." Somehow, I was not surprised that he knew my name. I can't even begin to describe the beauty of his voice. It had an otherworldly quality that was entrancing.  
  
  
  
"Good evening Monsieur," I said faintly. "Please," he said kindly, "call me Erik."  
  
  
  
After Christine had finished her lesson, Erik asked, "Carolyn, do you have a voice instructor here in Paris?" "No," I replied. "Would you be interested in studying with me? I heard your audition, and it was wonderful. You have so much potential." My heart fluttered within me. I wasn't used to that kind of flattering praise from a man. It had been a long time since any man had spoken to me so kindly. "Thank you Erik," I said blushing, "I'd be honored to study with you." "All right then," he said, "we'll begin tomorrow." 


	3. Chapter 3

I began to notice major improvements after only a few weeks of studying with Erik. We soon became great friends, although we never actually met face to face. The management also noticed my improvement. Not long after I had begun my training, Monsieur Richard called me to his office, and offered me a small role in Faust. I was overjoyed!  
  
  
  
Carlotta, the stuck-up diva, was enraged. I had never thought well of Carlotta in the first place, because she had such a passionate hatred for Christine. My dislike for her grew, however, when I overheard her arguing with the managers a few evenings before opening night. Christine and I were walking back to our rooms, when we heard my name being mentioned. Monsieur Andre was saying, "I did give Carolyn Ingraham the part." "Why on earth did you do that?" Carlotta shrieked, "I had thought that part was reserved for my niece!" "It was at first," Richard said, "but quite frankly, Carlotta, Carolyn has a better voice than Juliet." Juliet was twenty, and already had as wide a vibrato as her Aunt. That said very little for poor Juliet. "That girl does not have the voice for that part," Carlotta raged on, "and how will she perform it well without sight?" "Carlotta," Richard said in a measured tone, "I don't ever want to hear you say anything negative regarding that girl's blindness again. That is discrimination, and if I hear that you've said anything, and she gets hurt, you will be dismissed immediately. Is that understood?"  
  
  
  
I didn't wait to hear her response. The damage had already been done. I ran to my room, and slammed the door. I hated it so much when people thought me incapable. Christine didn't follow me. She must have known I needed to be alone. I threw myself on my couch and cried. It was childish of me I knew, but it hurt me so much when anyone did that to me. I was a person; a person who lacked sight, but a person nonetheless, with feelings that could be hurt. "Carolyn," Erik's voice said softly, calming me immediately. I turned towards the mirror. "I understand your pain mon ami," he said. I heard the sorrow in his voice, and my heart went out to him. Erik was suffering too, but why? "Don't let what she says get to you," he continued gently, "she's just jealous, because she'll never have as beautiful a voice as you."  
  
  
  
I smiled slightly. Erik could be so charming sometimes. After awhile, Erik began to sing. His speaking voice was exquisite, but his singing voice...surely he was a real angel. I relaxed, as his song caressed my soul. Feelings I had locked deep inside my previously broken heart came alive within me, as I floated away on a cloud of music. I felt a sudden need to meet Erik face to face. When the song was finished, I said, "Who are you Erik? Are you a man, or an angel? Are you real? If you are, why have I never met you? Oh please, let me meet you." I knew I needed him to fill some void in my life, although I didn't know what it was, or how he would do it. There was a moment of silence, and for a split second, I was terribly afraid he had left me. But presently, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Erik, is that you?" "Yes, mon ami," he replied, "Come with me. I want to show you my home." I didn't know this man, but I trusted him with all my heart. I took his arm, and was led through the panel in my mirror, and down many corridors and flights of stairs. We stopped, and I heard the sound of rushing water.  
  
  
  
"We're at a lake", Erik explained, "My house is on the other side." He helped me into the boat, and we rowed across. Erik sat beside me on a sofa in his drawing room. "This is a very large room," I observed casually, feeling slightly giddy with the knowledge that Erik was so close to me. "You can feel the size," Erik said, not surprised in the least by my remark, "I've spent many years studying many different things," he said, "Blindness was one of them." "Can you read Braille?" I asked. "I can read and write it in several languages." "Do you speak English?" I asked. "Yes," he said in my native tongue, "I spent several years in London." Erik and I had even more in common than I had originally thought. Did this mean something? "Stop dreaming!" I reprimanded myself sharply, "don't jump to conclusions so quickly. You remember what happened the last time you let your feelings control you like that." Yes, I remembered all to well, and the memory hurt. I pushed all negative thoughts from my mind.  
  
  
  
"What does this room look like?" I asked. "Besides the sofa we're sitting on," Erik began, "There is a grand piano at the opposite end of the room, and several upholstered chairs. I'll show you around the house tomorrow. For now, you should get some sleep. You look exhausted." I really was very tired. Erik led me down a hall to a bedroom. "My room is right next door," he said, "don't hesitate to call if you need anything." "Thank you so much Erik," I said as he handed me a nightgown, "I feel so much better." "Sleep well," he said, briefly caressing my hair. The touch of his hand made my pulse quicken, and a pleasant chill run down my spine. After he had closed the door, I changed, and climbed into bed. But my dreams were not of performing in Faust; my dreams were of Erik. 


	4. Chapter 4

I awoke feeling very refreshed, with the dreams of last night still clear in my mind. It had been a long time since I'd thought of anyone in that way. My mind wandered back two years. I was singing in the church choir. My voice filled the small building. "Excellent!" The director said when I had finished. I sat down. The rehearsal went on. Afterwards, I felt a strong yet gentle hand on my shoulder. "Hello," a young man said, "my name is Robert Wellington. You must be Carolyn. You have the most beautiful voice!" I felt my face get hot. "Thank you," I said shyly. "May I walk you home?" He asked. "Yes," I said, "thank you."  
  
From that moment on, Robert and I were inseparable. He was also talented, and we soon fell in love with each other's voices, and each other's souls, or so I thought. My Aunt and Uncle entirely approved of the match, saying, "He's a nice boy, and will take care of you," and I believed it. Robert always treated me normally, but was always willing to help me if I needed it. The six months of our romance were the happiest of my life. Nothing thrilled me more than walking down the street with him hand in hand, or the passionate kisses and caresses we stole when the adults weren't in the room. My friends all told me that I was lucky. They went on and on about how handsome he was, not that I cared. He could have been repulsive, and I still would have love him just as much. I truly believed we would be together forever, but Fate had a different and much crueler plan.  
  
There was a girl in the church choir named Marry Willis. She was beautiful, and her voice was angelic. I thought nothing of it when Robert talked to her. What business of mine was it if he conversed with her? If only that had been all he was doing with her! A month or so after I had noticed there growing closeness, Robert walked me home for the last time. "Carolyn," he said gently, "there's something I have to tell you." I knew the news was not good, but kept silent, and waited for him to continue. "You know Marry," his voice began to sound nervous, "well, I love her, and we're getting married." "What?" I said dismayed, "no! You love me! Not her! Why? What did I do?" "It's not you, but she's so beautiful. I just love her." I didn't wait to hear anymore, but ran home.  
  
Mary and Robert were married a month later. I never knew why he had left me so quickly, until six months later, when their child was born.  
  
I opened my eyes, and slowly came back to the present. "Oh Robert!" I thought, "How could you! I loved you so, I love you still!" Tears came to my eyes, and I couldn't restrain the sobs, which racked my body. The pain was still so all consuming. It was as though it had just happened all over again.  
  
I didn't hear the door open, but I felt someone's arms encircling me in a strong, warm embrace. "Mon Cheri," Erik said, "what is the matter?" I didn't want too, but I poured out the whole story to him. "Oh my poor child," he said when I had finished, "you suffer as I do. I too am in love with someone who doesn't love me. My dear Christine! If she would only look past my face, and se how I love her!" I hugged him tightly. "I will help you through this Erik," I said, "it's the least I can do after all you've done for me."  
  
He left me alone while I dressed. I was not shocked that Erik loved Christine, but a little jealous. How could she refuse the love of such a man? I fought against the feelings that rose up in me. "No!" My mind screamed. "Don't let yourself love him. He loves someone else! He will never love you." My heart said, "Listen to me. Let this new love numb the pain of the old love. See what happens." The battle between mind and heart was still raging when I immerged from my room.  
  
"Are you hungry?" Erik asked. "Yes," I said, "I've just realized that I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday. "Well, then," he said, "you must eat now. We can't have you singing on an empty stomach." He never mentioned Christine all through lunch. I was glad. I didn't eat to think of the fact that he loved my best friend, when I couldn't forget the feeling of his powerful arms around me. After lunch, we sat and talked of books we had both read. It was amazing how much Erik and I had in common, far more than Robert and I had. "Have you read Les Miserables?" He asked. "Yes," I said, "Aunt Kathryn read it to me. It's too long to put in Braille. The entire book would take up this whole room. I'd have to climb a ladder just to get the right volume. Erik laughed. His laugh was beautiful as well. But even it held a trace of sadness. I vowed to take the sadness out of his laugh, and out of his life.  
  
All to soon our conversation ended, and Erik said that it was time to get to work. It wasn't that I didn't want to sing, but I so enjoyed these precious moments we spent together just talking.  
  
After I did some scales, Erik said, "Would you like to sing a song that I wrote? It's not from an opera. It's just something I wrote." "Certainly," I said. The song was called Love. It was the most beautiful piece of music I had ever sung. He taught it to me line by line. When I became surer of the words, I sang with all my soul. "My love consumes me, burning my soul with delicious passion," and in that moment, singing the song he had written for another woman, I knew that I loved Eric with every fiber of my being. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
With the realization of my love for Erik, my entire life changed. The entire purpose of my existence was to make him love me. I knew that this wouldn't be an easy task, considering his devotion to Christine. I knew that something had to change though. I couldn't live without him for very long.  
  
I lay awake one night in my room at the Opera, wondering how to make Erik notice me as more than a friend. During the last few days I had spent with him, I had tried in vain to drop subtle hints. One evening, as we sat by the fire talking, I "accidentally" touched his hand, letting my fingers linger on his palm as long as I dared. He appeared unruffled, however, and continued talking as if he hadn't noticed my touch. I had noticed though, and my fingers tingled long after it was over.  
  
"Oh Erik," I whispered into the darkness, "why won't you love me?" I tossed and turned for a long time. Ever since my feelings for Erik had arisen, sleep evaded me. When I finally did sleep, Erik filled my dreams, and I woke up longing for him in a way I'd never known before.  
  
I was waiting for Christine to change after dress rehearsal. The Viconte entered the lobby. "Good evening Carolyn," he said kissing my hand formally. "Good evening Roual," I said, "how are you?" "A little nervous actually, he conceded. "Why?" I asked. "Well," he said confidentially, "I have some plans for this evening with Christine, and I want everything to be perfect. I'm planning to propose to her, but I'm nervous about whether or not she'll accept." A glimmer of hope shone in my heart. I could barely contain my excitement. If Erik realized that Christine was serious about Roual, his feelings for her might fade. "Don't be nervous," I said. "of course she'll accept." "I hope so," he said.  
  
"So do I," I thought for my own reasons. "You're up to something," Roual said, "I can see it." "Me?" I asked feigning innocence. "Yes, you, now out with it!" He said in a tone of mock severity. A thought struck me. If Roual and I could become allies, then maybe we both would get what we wanted much faster. I told him everything, of my love for Erik, and of Erik's love for Christine. "I know he loves her," Roual said softly, "that's why I am nervous. What if she says no because of him?"   
  
"She won't," I reassured him, "she loves you."  
  
"I know she does," He said, "and I know that you love him, but how? Carolyn, you can't see him. He looks horrible from what Christine has told me. And his temper! You must eventually come to realize the mistake you are making before it's to late. I want to help you, but I don't know if I'd be hurting you in the long run. You are my friend, and if anything would happen to you, I would never forgive myself."   
  
"Nothing will," I said, "the only reason for his temper is his anger at a world that has forsaken and tortured him since the day he was borne. If you knew him like I do, you would realize that it's not his face that matters, but his personality and his soul. That's all that I see of him, and even If I could see more, I would still love him just as much." Tears came to my eyes as I spoke. I was so filled with conflicting emotions. Love, sadness, hope. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

  
  
  
I woke up the next morning feeling happier and lighter than I had in a long time. Christine was standing in the hall when I immerged from my room.   
  
"Oh Carolyn! I have the most wonderful news!"   
  
I knew what she was going to tell me, but I pretended not to know. "What is it?" I asked. "Did the managers offer you another lead role?"   
  
"No," she said, "it's something even better than that."  
  
"What is it?" I asked barely able to contain my own excitement. She had said yes! My heart danced with relief. "Raoul and I are engaged!"  
  
I hugged her tightly. "Congratulations! What does your ring look like? Can I see it?" She handed it to me. It felt like a very large diamond with little diamonds surrounding it. My assumptions proved to be correct. "It's beautiful. When will the wedding be?"  
  
"I don't know," she said.  
  
I sensed tension in her voice. "What's wrong?" I asked.  
  
"Nothing," Christine said quickly.  
  
"Tell me," I said gently, "I won't tell anyone I promise."   
  
"Well," she said hesitantly, "I don't know how Erik will react to all of this. I don't really want to be the one to tell him. I am rather frightened of his reaction."  
  
"Don't be," I reassured her, "he's really very gentle. I'm sure he might be upset at first, but eventually he'll have to accept it." I hoped with all of my heart that he would. "He just has to," I added.   
  
"Oh?" Christine said curiously, "Am I correct in assuming that you have more than a friendly interest in Erik?"   
  
My face grew very hot. "Did Roual tell you? That's the last time I'll ever tell him a secret!"  
  
"No," she said, "I guessed. Does Erik suspect anything?"  
  
"No," I said wistfully, "I wish he would though. He's completely devoted to you. It's not your fault, but I want him to love me more than anything."   
  
"I know you do," she said gently, "but you don't know him as well as I do. You don't know what you are getting yourself into Carolyn. He's very nice most of the time, but at other times...… She left the sentence unfinished.   
  
"I know all of that," I said, "but when we're together, I don't see that side of him. Even if I did I would still love him. I love the person that he is when we're together, and even if he gets angry, he'll always become that person again. He's not a mean man. He's angry at the world. That's what I was trying to explain to Raoul last night."   
  
"I know," Christine said, "and in my heart I know you're right, but be careful."   
  
"I will," I said, "but I have nothing to fear."  
  


******************************

  
  
During my lesson that evening, Erik seemed very tense. Finally, when I had finished all of my exercises I asked, "Erik, do you know about Raoul and Christine?" There was a long silence.   
  
"Yes," he finally said in a choked voice, "Why couldn't she love me?" There were tears in his voice, and my heart went out to him, but I also knew that he needed to accept the fact that Christine didn't love him, and move on with his life.  
  
"Erik," I said gently yet firmly, "I realize that you love Christine very much. She's a great beauty and a wonderful person. But she loves Roual, and they are going to be married."   
  
"If I weren't so ugly she would love me!" He burst out angrily.  
  
"Maybe not though," I said quietly, "she would have been meant to be with Raoul regardless of what you looked like. You need to accept the fact that you can't have her. You need to move on with your life. You need to focus your attention on someone else, someone who will love you in return."   
  
"Someone like me," I wanted to add, but this wasn't the time to declare my undying love.   
  
"No one will ever love me," he said miserably. I wanted to tell him that I always would, but I didn't want to scare him away. Erik was very vulnerable right now, and there was no telling what his reaction would be if I told him.  
  
"Someone will," I said, "but you can't wait your whole life for her love. You won't ever have her love. I don't mean to be so blunt with you, but it's the truth, as painful as it must be for you to hear it."  
  
"I will never give up hope!" He sobbed angrily. "I love her! I can't move on."   
  
"You have to dammit!" I shouted, releasing all of the emotions I had held in for weeks. "You can't live your whole life waiting for her!"   
  
"How did you become so wise and young Mademoiselle?" He stormed.   
  
"I lived through what you're going through now, and I know that it hurts. No pain is greater than that of a lost love. But I've learned to live my life again. I've learned from my mistakes. I know better how to handle myself next time."   
  
"For you,' Erik said sadly, "there will be a next time, but for me…"  
  
"Don't say that!"  
  
"Why? It's the truth. Who would ever love me?"  
  
I felt as though my heart would break. I wanted so badly to throw caution to the wind and confess my love for him, but it wasn't the right time. "You will find someone. For every person, there is someone who is meant to be that person's soul mate."   
  
"Not for me," Erik said. Surprisingly, I felt anger surge within me.   
  
"Erik," I stormed, "I can only imagine the kind of life you've had, but you need to move on. This obsession has gone on long enough." I knew immediately that I had reacted hastily.   
  
"Obsession!" Erik raged, "That's all that you think this is? An obsession that I'll eventually tire of? You know nothing of true love! I love her with all of my soul! Obsession!"   
  
His words tore at my heart. I felt tears sting my eyes. "Erik, I…" There was no answer. "Erik!" I cried, "Erik! Where are you?" I was met with a depressing silence.   
  
"I know of true love," I cried into the silence, "a love that is stronger than any human bond. I hope that some day you will feel that kind of love." My words were still answered by silence. The room began to spin. I shakily made my way to the couch and collapsed onto it crying as though my heart would break. It truly felt as though it would break at that moment.   
  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

  
  
  
Faust opened the next evening. I didn't have time to talk to Christine about last night's events. In truth, I hardly had time to dwell on them myself. We were kept busy all that day with rehearsals and fittings. It was only during our infrequent breaks that my mind wandered and my heart ached. What had I done to make him so angry? I had only tried to make him think reasonably. What if he never came back? The questions tormented me all through the day.  
  
That evening, I waited backstage for my cue. When it was given, I walked onstage and stood beside Christine. She was playing the lead role, the self-centered Carlotta having resigned after an "unfortunate accident" involving the collapse of some scenery. Christine finished her aria, and with my heart pounding so loud I feared everyone else could hear it, I began mine. It went better than I had thought it would, and the auditorium filled with thunderous applause when I finished. As I exited the stage, I wondered if Erik had seen my performance. I hoped that he had. I wanted him to be proud of my hard work and of his accomplishment. I would never have come so far in my career if it hadn't been for him. Thinking of him brought a stab of pain to my heart.  
  
After the performance, I decided not to go the huge party that was being held in the restaurant across the street. I needed to see if Erik would come back for our lesson tonight. I graciously accepted the flowers that were given to me as I made my way back to my room.  
  
When I arrived, I knew that he was there. I felt his presence all around me. "Erik?" I called. There was no answer. "Erik! I know you are here. Please answer me. I'm sorry that I was so hard on you last night, but I only did it because…"  
  
I knew instinctively that this was the right time. No matter what his response was, I had to tell him. But the words wouldn't come. I frantically searched myself for the right words. Finally, I began to sing the song that Erik had taught me.   
  
"My love consumes me, filling my soul with delicious passion. The purpose of my life is to love you." My voice filled the room, echoing richly off of the walls. Ever so softly, another voice joined with mine. I knew that it was Erik's, and my heart leapt with joy. He loved me! His voice gained strength, and we finished the song together. We were both silent when the song was over.   
  
Presently, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Oh Erik! I breathed, "I love you!"  
  
"I love you too ma belle Ange," he said, pulling me into his arms and kissing me. His kiss was gentle and yet filled with passion.   
  
"Why didn't you tell me before?" I chided him gently. "I've loved you since the first night I met you."   
  
"So did I," he said softly, "but I also loved her. I was so filled with conflicting emotions up until last night. When I heard those last words that you said, I was sure, but I didn't know how to tell you. I was afraid that you would reject me too."  
  
"I wouldn't have, and I never will," I said fiercely.   
  
"But can you really love a monster?" He asked, his voice filled with anguish, "can you spend the rest of your life in eternal darkness?"  
  
"Erik," I said smiling slightly, "I've lived my entire life in darkness. It won't be much different for me."   
  
He laughed softly. It was a carefree happy laugh. "I suppose you have," he said softly, "but you know what I mean. I can never live above the Opera."  
  
I thought that one day we could, but didn't tell him of my thoughts just then. Instead I kissed him. "My home is wherever you are my love."   
  
"But my face!" He protested. In answer to his protestation I reached up and caressed the unmasked side of his face. He flinched slightly, but didn't stop me. I moved my hand to the other side of his face, feeling the leather of the mask.   
  
"Isn't it uncomfortable to wear that all of the time?"   
  
"I've gotten used to it."   
  
I slowly lifted the mask. My fingers ran gently over the deformed skin. The right side of his face was rough and had many jagged scars, but was not altogether unpleasant to my fingers. I explored further and saw that he didn't have much of a nose, only a nearly flat knob of flesh where it should have been. I also saw that the right side of his mouth curved inwardly.  
  
During the time of my exploration, Erik didn't move. Having seen the whole right side of his face, I kissed his scarred cheek and his sunken mouth.  
  
"You're not running away." Erik said incredulously.   
  
"No," I said gently, "I told you I wouldn't."   
  
He held me tightly against him, and I rested my head on his shoulder, his scarred cheek pressed against my neck. He took my face in his hands gently and kissed me. "Oh my precious love," he breathed, "surely there is a God in Heaven. Only He could have given me such a wondrous gift. I love you more than life and I will love you until my dying day."   
  
"I love you too Erik," I said. I still couldn't believe that this was real. Surely I was dreaming. But the feelings that Erik's kiss invoked in me convinced me that it wasn't. In that one tender moment, I was completely happy.   
  
Erik held me for a long time. It was as though we were the only two people in the world. But it was cold in my little room, and I shivered involuntarily against Erik.   
  
"Here," he said, wrapping his cloak tight around me. "Perhaps we should go home where it's warm."   
  
Home. The word filled me with love and happiness. Taking Erik's hand, I followed him through the mirror and below the Opera.   
  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

  
  
  
I felt a mounting sense of excitement as Erik and I rowed across the lake. I knew that I was going to make love to him that night and I wanted to share that beautiful experience with him more than anything. We were both silent as we entered the house. We sat on the sofa in the drawing room and Erik pulled me close.   
  
"Oh ma ange," he said softly, "I love you and I need you more than anything, but I won't pressure you to do anything you're not comfortable doing."  
  
My heart beat quickened and my body ached for him. "Don't worry," I said, "I need you as much as you need me. I know you'll never leave me, so I am prepared to give myself to you completely."  
  
We kissed passionately. Our tongues met and twisted together in a passionate frenzy. Erik's hands caressed my back and shoulders, slowly moving towards my breasts. He stopped suddenly.   
  
"Are you sure that this is what you want Carolyn?" He asked.  
  
"Yes," I said huskily, "I want you Erik."   
  
He rose from the sofa, took my hand, and led me down the hall to his room. We sat on his bed kissing. Erik began caressing me in the same fashion. "Do you want me to touch you?" He whispered hoarsely.  
  
"Yes," I said. The word came out more like a moan.  
  
His hand gently cupped my left breast. His touch was gentle yet firm and I felt a surge of passion unlike any I had ever felt before. I moaned and Erik squeezed my breast faster and harder. I began to feel wetness between my thighs as Erik slowly began to unbutton my dress. He had some trouble with the last few, so I unbuttoned them. My chemise came off easily enough, but then there was the ordeal of undoing my corset. It seemed like forever until my breasts were completely bare.   
  
"You are so beautiful," Erik breathed beginning once again to kneed my breasts with his hands. The feel of his hand on my bare skin produced an even more thrilling sensation. He gently took my nipples between his fingers and massaged them until they became hard. He pulled me close to him and took one of my erect nipples in to his mouth.  
  
I began to moan loudly now as he gently sucked and raked it with his teeth. I grabbed the back of his head and pushed it against me. I had never known such pleasure before.   
  
Eventually, Erik lifted his face to mine and kissed me deeply. "Do you want me to keep going?" He asked softly.   
  
"Yes," I said. Erik's hand moved along my thigh. Even through the silk of my petticoats his touch thrilled me beyond belief. I moved away from him slightly and took them off. I was now completely naked before him.   
  
His hand cautiously moved between my bare thighs. He explored gently at first, then with more confidence. I moaned in ecstasy as his fingers found and rubbed the jewel of my womanhood. He then slowly put one long finger inside of me and caressed me in a way that shortly brought me to the peak of my excitement.  
  
"Did you like that?" Erik asked.   
  
"Oh yes," I said.   
  
"Well then," he said seductively, "you'll really like this." He lay me back and instinctively I parted my thighs. He moved to the end of the bed and I soon felt his tongue flicking over the most sensual area of my body. I writhed under this most intimate caress and moaned his name over and over again. Erik gently took the diamond of my femininity between his lips and suckled it. Then his tongue plunged inside of me. When I came, I felt it throughout my entire body. I felt a great sense of release as Erik lay beside me.  
  
"Well," he asked, "did you like it?"  
  
"Did it sound like I liked it?"  
  
We both laughed.   
  
"And now," I said in a silky seductive voice that I hardly recognized as my own, "I am going to give you as much pleasure as you have given me." Erik's breathing quickened as I began to unbutton his shirt. Having removed it, my hands eagerly wandered over his muscular chest and back. I wanted to learn every part of his body.   
  
After exploring him for awhile, I undid his trousers. Erik rose slightly and removed the rest of his clothing. My hand immediately ran down his body to his hardened manhood. I had never seen that part of a man before and I was fascinated by what my hands discovered. I explored him with open curiosity, starting at the bottom of the shaft and working my way slowly to the tip. As my fingers reached that point, Erik gave a small gasp. I assumed that gasp meant that he wanted me to touch him there, so I wrapped my hand around him and began to caress his member. Erik groaned softly.   
  
"Oh Carolyn," he whispered, "keep going."   
  
"Am I doing it right?" I asked a bit uncertainly.   
  
"Yes," he said, "you're doing fine."  
  
I began to move my hand faster. Suddenly I stopped. A new and more daring idea had entered my mind. I lay over him and kissed first his lips, slowly making my way down his body, flicking my tongue over his nipples until finally I came once again to his manhood. I knelt between his legs and took the tip of his engorged sex into my mouth. I began to suck gently, every now and then running my tongue around it. Erik began to squirm. My hand went between his legs and I began to massage the sack that hung there as I pleasured him with my mouth.  
  
His excitement rose quickly and presently he said, "Oh Carolyn! I need you now!"  
  
I had also become aroused by this time, and quickly moved to lay beside him. He began to caress me between my thighs again until the juices of my lust began to flow abundantly. Erik kissed me tenderly.   
  
"It might hurt a little my love," he said, "but I will try to make the pain as quick and minimal as possible."  
  
My heart began to pound. I was about to experience pleasure in its greatest form. I lay back against the pillows and spread my legs. Erik lay on top of me and his member soon found my entrance. He slowly entered me. I felt a sharp but brief pain as he broke through my maidenhood.  
  
My muscles tensed slightly and Erik stroked my hair. "Relax cheri," he said gently, "I promise it won't hurt anymore."   
  
I slowly relaxed my muscles and Erik began to caress my breasts as he moved within me. I felt waves of mind numbing ecstasy as Erik pleasured the innermost regions of my body. I writhed beneath him and moaned louder than ever before. He began to increase the pace and force of his thrusts. It wasn't long before I was once again driven over the edge with passion and after that I experienced multiple orgasms.   
  
"Oh Erik!" I moaned in the throws of passion, "fill me completely!"  
  
He then began to thrust into me as far as he could go. The feeling of him so deep inside of me made me delirious with pleasure. I moved with him and our bodies twisted together in passion. I never wanted it to end, but eventually, Erik thrust deeper within me then ever before, filling me with his seed. He lay on top of me for a long time as we both caught our breath. I felt a deep sense of satisfaction as he pulled me into his arms.   
  
"That was amazing," Erik finally said.   
  
"Yes it was," I replied softly.   
  
"I didn't hurt you?"   
  
"No, it only hurt a little bit in the beginning, but now I am all right."   
  
"I love you Carolyn and I'll love you forever."   
  
"I love you too Erik."   
  
We kissed deeply and fell asleep in each other's arms.   
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

  
  
  
I awoke slowly from a pleasant dream. Erik's hands were caressing my body intimately and causing the most delicious reactions. I opened my eyes and slowly realized where I was. It wasn't a dream. I was really here in Erik's bed! And his hands were oh so real!   
  
"Well good morning to you too," I said kissing him. Erik chuckled. "Is this how you're always going to wake me up? Because if that's the case I'm going to be sleeping a lot more."   
  
We both laughed. The hardness of Erik's maleness pressed into my thigh.   
  
"Well you're certainly awake," I said silkily.   
  
"Yes," he replied, "awake and hungry for you."   
  
He rolled me onto my back and dove between my legs, arousing me with his lips and tongue and fingers. I gasped in surprise and then began to moan with pleasure. Erik covered my body with his and entered me quickly. I felt as though I had soared to the uppermost regions of Heaven each time I climaxed. Our coupling was long and passionate. Afterwards I lay in his arms.   
  
"I love you Erik," I said softly.   
  
"I love you too Carolyn," he replied.   
  
"It's amazing," I mused, snuggling close to him, "yesterday at this time I had thought that I had lost you forever--even as a friend, and now we're here together and it's so perfect!"   
  
"I promise you that it will always be this way my love," Erik said kissing me tenderly.  
  
Eventually Erik and I got out of bed. I think I surprised him with my cooking skills, although he didn't say anything to that affect. He hungrily devoured two plates of food. Over breakfast we talked about last night's performance.   
  
"So you were there?" I asked. I wasn't really surprised to know that, but it pleased me to know that Erik had been there for me even though he had been angry.   
  
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world," he said, "you were wonderful."   
  
Our conversation moved on to other topics. It was amazing how Erik and I could sit and talk for so long. He was never condescending towards me, but always treated me normally. That was one of the many things I loved about him. I told him as much.   
  
"Of course I treat you normally my love," he said matter-of-factly, "you are normal. There is nothing wrong with you besides your blindness."   
  
"I wish everyone thought that way," I said, "some people make me so angry! When I am at the market, venders of course first see that I am blind, and then that I am American, so they speak French to me very loudly and very slowly as though I'm stupid. Then I amaze them by speaking French practically more correctly and fluently than they do."   
  
"It's amazing how well you speak the language," Erik said. We generally conducted our conversations in English so that Erik's skills could improve. I hadn't told him this yet, but I dreamed of some day returning to America. I loved living in France, but America was my home and I missed it.  
  
"I have some errands to run," Erik said after the dishes had been put away, "I'll be back in an hour or so." He kissed me passionately before leaving.  
  
I wandered through the house. I eventually ended up back in Erik's room. I hadn't really explored anything in there except the bed. I bumped into something that felt like a bench, and reached down to find out that that was exactly what it was. I sat down and reached forward. My hands encountered the keys of an organ. After further exploration, I found out that it was a huge pipe organ. I found stacks of sheet music on top but left them where they were. I played a few chords on the organ. That was as far as my skills went. Even with my minimal skills the sound was magnificent.  
  
Erik returned a little while later. "Why didn't you tell me that you had a pipe organ?" I asked.   
  
"I wanted you to find it yourself," he said kissing me.   
  
"Did you miss me?" I asked.   
  
"Oh terribly!" Erik said forlornly, "so terribly that I couldn't wait to come home to seduce you!"   
  
"You don't have to seduce me," I said as Erik unbuttoned my dress.   
  
"I know," he said silkily, "but please let me."   
  
In no time we lay naked on the sofa in the drawing room. Erik fanned light kisses over my face and neck. His hands found my breasts and eventually moved further down my body to where I was already moist. His fingers caressed me so erotically that I squirmed out of his grasp and positioned myself over him. I lowered myself onto him slowly. He groaned with pleasure as my tight wet flesh surrounded him.  
  
I rode him hard, rising and falling with him and experiencing a pleasure that obliterated all thought.   
  
Afterwards we lay by the fire and talked.   
  
"It's really not all about the lovemaking Carolyn," he said, "but the lovemaking is just so incredible!"   
  
"I know," I said.   
  
We fell asleep for a while. When we woke, Erik said, "Get ready. We're going out."   
  
"Where are we going?" I asked.   
  
"You'll see when we get there." He said. I hurried to my room to get ready.  
  
An hour later I immerged from my room freshly bathed and wearing a pale blue dress.   
  
"You look beautiful ma ange," Erik said as we rowed across the lake. After leaving through a hidden exit to the Opera, we walked to a restaurant and had a leisurely lunch before I had to be back to prepare for that night's performance. I noticed how the waiters regarded Erik and I, a blind girl and a masked man. We must have made an odd looking pair to some, but I didn't care what others thought. Just to be there with Erik and to freely show that I loved him made me so happy!  
  
The performance went very well that night, but I didn't have any time to talk to Christine before the show because there was a problem with one of her costumes. By the time it was fixed it was almost time to go on. After the show Raoul whisked her away before I could get near her.  
  
Later that night Erik and I walked together in the moonlight. It felt so natural for Erik to lead me.   
  
"The stars are so beautiful Carolyn," he said as the cool night breeze ran through my hair.   
  
"This night has been so perfect," I said, "it couldn't possibly get any better."   
  
Erik turned me towards him suddenly. "This night has been wonderful," he said, sounding nervous, which was unlike him. "It would be utterly perfect," he said after a brief pause, "if you would due me the honor of becoming my wife."   
  
My jaw dropped. No words would come out.   
  
"I know this is very sudden," Erik said, "and I know that living with me won't ever be easy, but please Carolyn, will you marry me?"   
  
"Yes," I said in a choked whisper. Erik drew me close and we kissed.   
  
"You have made me the happiest man alive! He said joyfully.   
  
"Not nearly as happy as you have made me," I said through tears of utter bliss. This was all so wonderful and had happened so fast!   
  
We began to walk back towards the Opera, talking about the future and what it might hold. I was going to have a lot to tell Christine the next day!   
  
  
  



End file.
